Short Version:
Riley’s Stats:
6 lbs 4 oz
20 inches long (probably 19 without his cone head)
Born at 7:28 pm
Labor Stats:
22 hours long
No epidural
Pitocin for 9 hours
Pushed for 28 minutes
In hospital
Labor and Birth takeaways and thoughts:
Labor is comparable to earth life and being reunited with
Christ. We work so hard in this life to figure out what is right, what we
should and shouldn’t do. People bear unbearable things. Some people’s
life/labor is easier than others, but everyone’s journey takes effort, means
something different to them, and is worth it. When we are reunited with Christ
it is going to be the most joyful, celestial feeling you have ever felt which
makes your journey worth it. When you meet your own child after birth it makes
the work worth it. Whatever you went through will be made right. It will seem a
small price to pay to be with your Savior and your family again. However, if we
take shortcuts (abortion in most cases) or do not choose to follow the
commandments (choosing not to have kids when you are capable and when is right
for your family) and do not follow the spirit in this life we will not be able
to experience that joy and happiness that is everlasting.
Adam and Eve only had each other when they gave birth to
their first child and I believe that they clung unto each other and that Adam
was there to help Eve through her whole labor. I believe they were supported by
angels and felt a joy they had never yet experienced as they held their first
born in their arms. They knew it was a miracle, they knew they had pleased the
Lord and fulfilled his commandment.
Labor, birth, and parenting is a team effort. I could not
have had the birth that I wanted to without the help of my loving and kind
husband. He worked tirelessly for 22 hours straight to help me through the pain
I was feeling and he did not have the natural hormones to keep him awake. He
was incredible.
Hypnobirthing is amazing! Totally recommend it to everyone!
Even if you want to have an epidural it is an incredible class that helps you
tune into your body and learn how to listen to the instincts that we have.
Birth is a celestial and sacred experience. That room
becomes a safe haven filled with nothing but love for everyone around you. The
veil is very thin.
Riley is amazing! I love him!
Long Version: Meeting
Riley
These last two months I have thought about the night that we
met Riley. It has been hard for me to put into words what I felt, I still am
not convinced that we have the exact words in our English language that
describes the labor and birth process. The experience was so empowering, pure,
sacred, and celestial. And the labor process taught me a lot about life and
love. I want to share my experience with you because it has strengthened my
testimony of families, eternal marriage, and of the plan of salvation.
Michael and I decided that for our labor we wanted to try a
hypnobirth. We wanted minimal medication and interventions. Initially I chose
this method because I was fearful of an epidural I didn’t like the idea of
having a needle in my back and the horror stories of complications frightened
me. This was not the greatest mentality to have and I probably would not have
been able to have a successful hypnobirth if I kept this same motivation for
having a hypnobirth. During our hypnobirthing class my mentality changed
drastically. I got over my fear of the epidural and realized that if I needed
it, it was there and some people do need it. However, our body can (the
majority of the time) birth without medication, and I wanted to be able to feel
my birthing instincts and follow my body and feel the power behind birth. I
wanted to have a natural high of oxytocin as I met my baby boy. This
hypnobirthing class greatly prepared us, we loved going, it was the highlight
of our week and we learned so much. Shout out for Laura Lynn Curtis and the
Curtis method hypnobirthing it is incredible. I recommend it for anyone even if
you are planning on having a medicated birth, it was fantastic!
At 39 weeks I was ready to meet my baby boy, everyday after
39 weeks I tried to naturally induce labor. I hiked the Y, walked, got a
massage, and many other “natural” inductions. I didn’t expect to be so
impatient I thought I was prepared that “my baby would come when it was his
time to come and he felt ready.” I was very impatient and my doctor wanted to
induce me at 41 weeks and I didn’t want that until I hit 39 weeks and then my
mentality changed and I just wanted my baby boy here. Luckily, I didn’t have to
be induced. At 40 weeks and 5 days things changed. That afternoon I felt a
hormonal shift. I went from being super depressed to ecstatic and excited
within a 20 minute period. Something was different! I couldn’t wait for Michael
to come home I just knew it was going to be that day. We were going to meet our
son! When Michael came home from work we quickly ate dinner and I told him like
I really felt like this was the day. I had been experiencing frequent Braxton
hicks for many days and they hadn’t changed even then but I wanted to try
natural induction. It worked! Around 9 pm my surges changed almost instantly
from upper to lower and intense pressure in my back. I was having back labor.
Michael instantly helped me by putting counter pressure on
my back. Side note: After a lot of contemplation prior to his birth, we had
decided that we didn’t want a Doula because we wanted this to be a personal and
sacred moment for our family and we didn’t want anyone to invade that sacred
bubble. I was so grateful for Michael the pressure that he put on my back was
so helpful and relieving. I was experiencing these contractions 1 to 2 minutes
apart but only 45 seconds to a minute long. I decided to take a shower hoping
that moving around and standing would help, along with the warm water. Michael
was there for every surge, helping me with the pain that I felt in my back.
After about 30 minutes I felt a shift and my body directed me to start making
low moaning sounds as I exhaled.
We called the hospital about an hour after the first surges
had started to ask when we should come in. We needed to make sure to be there 4
hours before giving birth because I needed antibiotics for Group B Strep.
Michael started gathering our bag and snacks for us to eat in-between each of
my surges. He also gave me a blessing that the Lord would be with me and help
me through this time. I am so blessed to have a strong priesthood holder. At
midnight we arrived at the hospital. It took us about thirty minutes to get up
to the labor and delivery unit because we had to stop at every surge and do
counter pressure and the whole time I was swaying and making moaning noises. I
LOVED this part of labor. My body just knew what to do and if I allowed myself
to do it even if it seemed hard or abnormal it made labor so much easier. I was
still able to talk through surges at this point.
We got up to the labor and delivery unit and were put in a
nice and spacious room. They checked me and I was only dilated to a 2 but was
90% effaced. We chose to be checked frequently because both Michael and I both
like to know what is going on and the suspense would agitate me. They monitored
the baby and everything was well and I was able to walk around and use my
birthing ball to be on my hands and knees. It was such an exciting feeling to
be there in that hospital room the day I had been waiting for.
They got me hooked up to the antibiotics (an annoying IV).
Although I was attached to the machine I was still able to walk around. And for
many hours I moved and changed positions. Our first nurse was an angel! Her
name was Vicky. She was so supportive! This is where I realized how symbolic
labor is to life and our journey. God made woman to be a help meet for man. And
man and woman are to cleave together. I honestly believe that what Michael and
I experienced was similar to what Adam and Eve experienced. With no one but
themselves, Adam would’ve had to be there by her side to help her through her
surges. I can just imagine how beautiful and sacred that moment was of the
birth of their first child as they worked together to bring him here. I believe
that they had angels supporting them as they fulfilled the covenant they made
with God to multiply and replenish the earth, just like angels support us
through our lives and especially through the birthing process. Vicky was one of
my angels. She sat next to us and in her soft and calming voice chanted birthing affirmations. She would come
in our room whenever possible and just watch eagerly and help me through the
process by breathing and moaning with me. I realized when she was vocal with
me, it was so helpful and I asked Michael to do it with me as well. She would
hum and help do counter pressure and light touch massage. She was an amazing
nurse I loved her! Michael and Vicky’s support and guidance meant the world to
me and helped me get through those morning hours. Sadly, there are shift
changes in the hospital world and she had to leave in the morning. I believe
this is symbolic as well. At times we feel tremendous help and support from
beyond the veil and other times depending on many different circumstances we
can feel less support. Those hours with Vicky went by so quickly. It made me
consider getting a doula during our next adventure. I wish Vicky was a doula!
I had been laboring for 10 hours when my doctor came and
asked if she could break my water since I was still only at a 3 and my surges
were slowing down slightly. I agreed and it was a wonderful feeling to have
that pressure released. However, it didn’t do anything for the labor. Baby
Riley was taking his sweet time. Another life lesson: Life doesn’t go as
planned and when it doesn’t we should always turn to the Lord and those who
love us to get through those unexpected turns. About an hour later they checked
me again and I still showed very minimal progress. The nurse told me that I
needed Pitocin to speed things up. I knew that suggestion was coming and I was
so scared. I felt my body getting tired and I was starting to withdraw into
myself and sometimes my thoughts were very frightening. My mind was becoming an
enemy to the process of birth. I practiced repeating birthing affirmations, but
those frightened and scared thoughts were winning. I finally voiced my concern
to the nurse and Michael: “if I get Pitocin I don’t think I can do it without
an epidural. I don’t think I can handle it getting more intense.” Michael was
so kind and suggested that we do some natural nipple stimulation to try and
make the labor progress instead of the Pitocin. They allowed us to do that for
an hour. I honestly believe that it didn’t work because my mind was not
allowing oxytocin to release because of the fear I had. When they came back and
nothing had changed they pushed the Pitocin and it did feel right I think I
needed something to help me get past my fear. I told them that I would probably
need an epidural at the same time though. They went to go get the drugs and update
my doctor.
When the nurse left, Michael was my angel at this time. He
looked at me and said: “Rachelle you told me that when you were about to cave
in to an epidural to not let you. I think you should try the Pitocin and just
see how it goes before you get an epidural. You can do it even for just 30
minutes just try it.” And so I did. This was the best decision I made. It
taught me how powerful the human body really is and how powerful and strong I
was.
As I got Pitocin it started out as dark and frightening, but
soon I realized how strong my body and mind are and I was able to be
enlightened and my mind freed so I was able use visualization and powerful
birth affirmations. Up until this point I was able to speak during contractions
at least a little bit. After the Pitocin if I needed to speak it either came
out as a whisper that no one could hear or a shout that startled Michael. During every contraction I said the phrase
“You are Strong, You are Powerful”. I swayed my hips. Me and Michael danced, I moved
to my hands and knees, I sat on the bed. The whole time my body was directing
me and Michael was helping as I directed. Birth is NOT a one man show. It is a
team effort. I realize that more and more as I reflect on those hours that I
felt so close to Michael. We were working together to bring Baby Riley into our
lives. I would talk to my baby sometimes and encourage him that he could do it.
Mostly I stayed very quiet and internal. I was within myself it was a very
sacred place as I prayed and tried to listen to my body.
All of a sudden an hour and a half later I felt a transition
and an intense new sensation. I felt the urge to push! Except at first I didn’t
think it was that, at first I thought I just needed to go to the bathroom. I
asked if I could get help to the bathroom and the nurse said, “wait do you feel
like you need to poop?” “um yeah…” “Do you feel it all the time or just during
contractions?” (I was only feeling it during contractions) “OH!!!! I’m feeling
the urge to push.” “Yes you are, but you are only at a 7 so we can’t have you
push right now or it will cause swelling. This is a breathing technique that
can help when you feel that sensation.”
The technique she showed me was a fast breathing as if you
were blowing out a candle 20 times as fast as you could. It really did help
during that urge. She warned me to be really careful not to bear down because
we don’t want to cause swelling and make it harder to birth.
This phase of labor was really exciting for me because I
felt like labor was progressing a lot more quickly. It kept me going. Michael
also kept encouraging me, breathing with me, and reminding me: “Just take it
one contraction at a time. You can do it.” It was also really hard because the
urge to push was one of the most powerful bodily reactions I have ever felt in
my life. I felt like I was at war with my body. I couldn’t bear down, don’t
make me bear down. Sometimes I failed and it hurt so badly when I pushed
physically and mentally because I couldn’t beat the urge. Sometimes I succeeded
and felt so proud as I got through a whole surge without bearing down. Michael
was the most amazing support during this time. He could see I was struggling
without me having to say anything. Instead of saying don’t bear down hun which
he already knew I knew. After every surge whether I succeeded or not he would
say “good job Rachelle you are doing so good.” And he would stroke my hair. I
felt as if we were in our own little world going through this journey. When
nurses walked in we didn’t stop what we were doing. It was just us, and we knew
what was best. He and I together with our soon to be living and breathing son.
During one of my dark moments where I felt like giving up,
Michael announced that my family was in the waiting room. This was such a
surprise! My mom teaches school and she had tests she wasn’t supposed to leave
for, but she had arranged it so she could be here and bring our family. My dad
also left work. I didn’t want them in the room, but it felt so good and helped
me so much to know that they were there in case I needed them. They were there
supporting us and waiting for us.
When I hit a 9 I asked the nurse how long she thought it
would be. She said an hour and half tops. Which meant I would be having my baby
at 5:30 pm!!! I was so excited I couldn’t stand it. That’s what kept me going
was 5:30. But then after that no nurse came no doctor came. 5:30 came and went
and I was in agony!!! Finally at 6 pm a nurse came in. It was a nurse I had
never seen. I was in the middle of a contraction. She came in and introduced me
to another nurse and then they both left! That was it! I was enraged. I asked
Michael to get someone to come back. I really felt like I was ready to give
birth. I could feel him and I just wanted the support that I needed. The nurse
came back and checked me and said I was almost fully dilated I just had a small
anterior lip that was in the way. She would call the doctor and tell her to
come right over. Oh the joy! It was so exciting! It was so close! They got the
table ready with all of the tools on it and got the table that they would do
some measurements on.
She came back in after a little bit and said that the doctor
said this was my “rest and be thankful phase” to allow the baby to drop into
the pelvis. She would be over around 7 pm. My heart sunk again! Another hour… I
felt like he needed to come in now. And I did NOT feel like resting and being
thankful. The contractions were the most powerful they had every been. However
I was so internalized and exhausted that I couldn’t communicate anything that I
felt. I was so withdrawn into my own mind it was as if my cognitive ability to
speak had left. I could only speak in short sentences. It just took too much
effort. The hour wait began. I kept repeating the mantra in a whisper that I
was strong and powerful. Although that hour was long it also was powerful to
know I could keep enduring these powerful contractions.
Right before 7 I got on the bed on my hands and knees and
leaned over the ball. This is the position that I felt would be best to birth
in. Right at 7 my doctor came in hallelujah! The first thing she said was, “Oh!
You are on your hands and knees!” I didn’t know what that meant at the time,
but later I found out that a nurse had told her I had gotten the epidural and
had not reupdated her and told her that I hadn’t. That is why she waited until
seven because she thought I had an epidural!
She quickly came over and checked me and said, “oh my
goodness he is right there! Let me get dressed so we can birth this baby. Are
you ready to meet your son?” Oh was I ready!
It all happened so fast she told me the next contraction to
start bearing down and only to help push if it felt right. She directed me to
curl my pelvis to help the baby move down the birth canal. Oh it felt so good
when I pushed this time. I was fighting against my body. And I could feel him
moving and the pressure changing. After 28 minutes of intense burning, tearing,
and exerting of effort he was here!
There were so many wonderful things about the moment that he
came out of the birth canal. First there was so much wonderful pressure relief
and then the euphoria as they handed me my beautiful son. It was so wonderful
and so sacred. Our long journey seemed like a flash in time as I held my
beautiful son. His lungs were powerful and he was definitely crying but as they
handed me his warm slimy body I placed him on my chest (after having help to
turn around onto my back) and he just calmed right down. He knew me. He knew
his momma. Michael spoke and he turned his head towards him. He knew his dad.
What a precious moment. He had such curly long hair and his cone head was
unbelievable it still amazes me how the whole process of birth works! He was
perfect. This is what pure joy feels like.
I relate this moment to what it might feel like to meet the
Savior again. After our long hard journey in life; we finally get to meet our
Savior what joy we will feel. Our hard lives will seem so insignificant and
short compared to the overwhelming happiness, joy, euphoria, that we feel in
the presence of the Savior.
Michael was able to cut the chord, and I was able to hold my
baby as they did their initial measurements and assessments and as they
stitched me up. Oh these moments were so precious. I don’t have words to describe
them. It was a very celestial feeling; I loved everyone in that room that
helped me bring my baby to me safe and sound.
My testimony has grown immensely. I know that the
commandment to multiply and replenish the earth comes from a divine being and
divine and indescribable feelings are present when you fulfill that
commandment. Families are eternal the veil was so thin in that room and I could
feel the presence of many angels smiling down on us.
Shortly after Riley arrived I couldn’t wait for my family to
meet him. I feel like this is comparable as well to how the gospel should work.
You find something that makes you so happy you just want to share that
happiness with everyone you meet.
I would not change a thing about my birth other than just
making sure the nurses communicate better with the doctor. I loved being able
to move and experience the birthing instincts and I loved working with Michael
as a team to bring our son to the world. Yes it was hard, but anything hard is
worth it. Riley was definitely worth it and I don’t think I would have felt as
close to him or Michael if I did not go through this birth experience. I can’t
wait for the next one! Haha jk.
We love our Riley and I hope you don’t mind us sharing him
with you!
